Beauty Dish: Underground Adventures of an (EX!) Avon Lady

Oil vs. Oil SMACKDOWN!

Subtitle: You can't buy my opinion, you can't buy my words, but dang, if I think it would be a fun review, you can send me your junk and I'll run it - fairly, and brutally honestly - through the Jaworski Test Bathroom....

Lauren Kennedy of Ogilvy Public Relations sent out an email to a group of beauty bloggers. I get quite a few of these requests from a variety of PR offices and cosmetic companies. Hey, they say, hey! Write about our fabulous stuff! Win a prize! Tell your readers to check us out!

Most of the time I delete these requests. I mostly write about Avon products, and people visit Beauty Dish expecting to read the true Avon dirt. Once in a while something strikes me as a fun diversion, such as when Kraft sent me a dry-ice ensconced hunk of Parmesan.

Lauren's letter was an announcement about Johnson's beauty products, some of which have a new look. Lauren's gentle email wasn't over-the-top-salesy, and she gave a few suggestions for using the old Johnson's standbys (Baby Powder, Baby Shampoo) in ways that might help you get hair like.... Angelina Jolie! Well, who doesn't want to look like the sexiest woman on the planet, eh? Lauren also mentioned that she uses the products herself.

Set me up!

I replied to Lauren's email and yesterday received a (free) FedEx box stuffed with Johnson's finest. It should be noted that I am not getting paid for my upcoming brutally honest review. It should also be noted that, in three years of bloggin' about my life and work as an Avon Lady, I have never once received anything free from Avon whatsoever. Sigh.

This week my boys and I will hold the Great 2007 Oil Versus Oil SMACKDOWN! On the left, Avon's Skin So Soft! On the right, Johnson's Baby Oil! We will use both oils in a variety of ways and report on the results!

I'll also try the Angelina Jolie beauty tricks, with before and after photos, of course!

Wish us luck. May the best oil win!

Run out of Avon bubblebath?

Run out of your favorite Avon bubblebath? Is your Avon Lady delivering as fast as she can, but still can't get you those lucscious bubbles until next Wednesday? Make your own bubblebath! This recipe will give you the softest skin you can imagine:

Foaming Vanilla Orange Honey Bath

1 cup oil - I like to use extra virgin olive oil, but almond oil is nice, too

1/2 cup honey - I use New Mexico clover honey, but any kind will do

1/2 cup liquid soap - I like to use the natural soap suds from the whole foods market

6 drops orange or bergamot essential oil (you can substitute lavendar if you like)

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

Mix together all the ingredients and pour into a clean bottle with a tight fitting stopper or lid.

To use, shake before using. Pour 1/4 cup into the bath under running water.

Yields 16 ounces - enough for 8 baths.

Fun and Simple At-Home Beauty Recipes!

Yeah, I sell Avon, try to get my customers to buy as much as they like, but I know what it's like not to have a lot of money but to have a strong sense of adventure. Here are a few (inexpensive!) recipes for beauty products! Forget Avon for an afternoon!

For Under Eye Circles:

Potatoes contain an enzyme called catecholase which some cosmetic companies use as a skin lightener. Why not make your own and save a few bucks?

Grate one potato. You can use a food processor, or if you're like me and don't own one, just use a regular metal grater. Stuff the grated potato into a piece of cheesecloth. Apply to the area beneath your eyes and let sit for 15 to 20 minutes. Instant circle remover!

For Firmer Breasts:

Leave the Avon Bust Sculpt alone for one day! Mix one teaspoon of vitamin E oil (you can find this at any drug store) with one tablespoon of plain yogurt and one beaten egg. Massage this mixture over your breasts, and leave it on your skin for twenty minutes. Rinse off with warm water.