So long, and thanks for all the blush

After selling Avon for three years, I have decided that it's time for me to move on. My reasons are many and complicated. I have had many laughs and some great times pushing lipstick. I've also had my share of business heartache, not to mention trying to relate to a corporation that didn't quite know how to relate to me.

When I started blogging, my intention was to keep a little diary of my attempts trying to do something women (and men) have been doing for many years, something that seemed archaic, almost unusual in its old-fashioned earnestness. I never expected to discover a new product, something other than a lotion or cream - writing - and to complete an entire book of my funny customer stories, trials and tribulations. I couldn't feed my family with Avon,  but I learned I can feed my soul through sharing my experiences with others.

I wrote new words to an old song to wrap up my experiences and to share with you the basic reasons why I left. I uploaded the song to my podcast site. Please listen and sing along!

Thanks for sharing my life these past three years. I'm only leaving Avon... not leaving writing! Please visit me at La Pajaro. I will archive all of my fun Avon Lady stories and personal stories there, and this site and my other blogs will simply cease to exist - Avon reviews, comments, ideas, tips and all. Read 'em while you can!

Ghost Products in the Sky
by Birdie Jaworski

A catalogue was coming out one dark and windy day,
but I don't care, 'cause that's not where I'll ever get my pay.
Now don't you know, that every time those shiny products came,
I hustled Avon everywhere, that's how I got my fame.

Some brands ain't got no fire, and their lines have no appeal.
My manager assured me that ol' Avon was sooo real.
A bolt of fear went through me when I knocked on that first door.
But truth be told it got too old, I couldn't push no more.

Yipie Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Once I wrote a thousand words of things gone right and wrong,
I showed a brand new universe with every ding and dong.
Avon is the greatest, won't you buy my products please.
Avon is a lifestyle, the new recruit believes.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

I talked a million women into selling Lift and Tuck,
they trusted me to tell the truth so they could make a buck,
and sure enough, they moved the stuff, and Avon's bottom line
increased in size, Bust Sculpt applied to every single dime.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

I did my best for Avon, made it fun, something to try,
but when I checked my e-mail, I let out a great big sigh.
Avon never told me that my stories did them good,
but I kept writing anyway, because I thought I should.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Now Avon did a lot for me, in ways they'll never know,
or understand, or comprehend, like where I get my glow.
It's not from any product, any "thing" that I apply.
My customers, taught to me, there's more than sell and buy.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

That catalogue's now fadin' in the sun, I'm glad to say.
My lipstick's left my holster and my blush has gone astray.
Ladies, listen to me, when I tell you what I know,
Skin So Soft can coat your legs, don't let it coat your soul.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Comments

[matt]

well if you're selling avon and you want to bring the bacon home,
better get a downline, you can't do it alone.
they offer a second income to women of every age;
avon's little secret is: it's less than minimum wage.

yipiee I yay   yippie i ooo  ghost products in the sky

avon's only customers are avon ladies.

[Miss T]

I've always said that a new lipstick makes you feel like you can change your whole life. Sometimes throwing away your old lipstick can have the very same effect. G'on girl!

[Patia]

Hooray! Congratulations on graduating! (From the College of Avon and Hard Knocks, that is.)

I'm proud of you.

[Carroll]

Hahahahaha, matt -- a most excellent additional verse!

[Shrexy]

Birdie...you had about as much chance of making a buck out of Avon as I did out of Amway !! for probably similar reasons, you place people above products and self integrity above money. I will always thank Beauty Dish for the opportunity of meeting such a genuine soul.
Its not Avons loss so much as the Worlds gain. I look forward to the new adventures of BJ ( and maybe even the final bits of old ones!! ) Good luck Gal...*mwaahh*.
BTW.... its yor shout for Margaritas i do beleive !! :-))

[Birdie]

Thanks for the votes of confidence, everyone! I know I will have fun no matter what I try!

I will be posting my formal essay on all of this, but not here. I am looking for just the right venue, and am thinking it might be BlogHer.

: )

Lots of love and margaritaaaaaaaaahs to all!!!

[Wandering Willow]

What a fun song! I'm singing it in my head as I read the lyrics. It sums things up quite nicely.

I'd still love to hear that one day Avon contacts you and says something positive. Their lack of response has been a huge negative tide washing away the benefit that you gave them through your website.

[Carroll]

A few more verses for your consideration, Birdie. And hey, if you want to change the meter just a bit, that chorus could also be "A-von... Sla-von...Ghost Products in the Sky"

While Birdie knocked on doors for them, they never rang her bell
Though Avon reaped her bottom line, they never wished her well
Yes Avon corporate, it’s true, did really let her down
Our Birdie shilled and hyped for them with smiles and not a frown.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Oh Birdie pedaled Avon, yes, until her feet turned blue
And then she stayed up late at night to write for me and you
Grand tales of her adventures, with the blog world she did share
But gosh, it seemed those Avon folks, they didn’t even care.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Her fans sure were devoted to the stories that she told
About the people who she met, and products that she sold
We even let her lead us on through cliff-hangers galore
And each installment left us begging “Please, B, tell us more!”

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Through it all, our Birdie to her principles held true
She tells it like it is, folks, when she’s writing a review
So maybe there’s a company out there in product land
Who better will reward her skills when she takes pen in hand

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

I’m telling you, it’s Avon’s loss, this dark and fateful day
When Birdie closes up her blog and walks the other way
They’ll rue the day, you can be sure, they dissed her loyalty
But she’s sure feeling better now – from Avon she is free!

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Those Avon gals, they bust their butts to get the product out
And one would think their profits would suffice to make them shout
With glee about an income that makes all the work worthwhile
But gosh it seems their bottom lines fall short at least a mile

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

Enterprising moms are lured to sign up left and right
Up those lines and down those lines and working half the night
It takes a while to realize the profits they accrue
Don’t balance out-of-pocket costs, too sadly this is true.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

And all those products touted as sure things to cure our woes
Just money down the drain, my friends, from head down to our toes.
Like Birdie said, a healthy glow, it comes from deep within
A smile enhances everyone with bodies fat or thin.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

So Birdie girl, we wish you well, whatever path you fly
Our world’s been blessed the past three years by having you pass by
We’ve shared your hopes, and yes, the dreams you’ve told us day to day
Your fans and friends all send our love as you “move on” today.

Yipee Yi-ay.... Yipee Yi-oh..... Ghost Products In The Sky.....

[matt]

i think Carroll is going through serious withdrawl already.

[Jamie]

How ironic that the same weekend I make the decision to leave Avon (well, I'm keeping my account for myself, but that's about it), I come here, and you've left as well. It's been fun reading your adventures, and I look forward to continuing reading your new non-Avon adventures as well. :-) Good luck on this new phase of your journey!

[Carroll]

Matt, "withdrawl"?? (Snort!) I know a non-typo when I see one ;-)

And hey, Mister, I owe you an apology! I truly meant to credit you as my "inspiration" for that egregious bit of doggerel.

[Birdie]

OMG!!! Matt and Carroll!!!!!! Now I MUST record these verses!!!!! I am so not kidding!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

Jamie, congrats!! We can be ex-Avon Ladies together! : ) High Five!

[Shrexy]

stay tuned for the soon to be announced national tour of the 'Travelling triplets' Birdie Matt and Caroll , comin' to a town near you!!..
yes...singing all your favourites..
"It takes two baby...Avon and you !"
"Its a long way to the top ...if ya want to sell ya soul"
and who can forget..." well since my downline left me, I've found a new place to sell, down the end of bankruptcy street, having my closeout sale "..

book early !!

[Carroll]

Hahahahahaaaa, Shrexy -- that's a GREAT idea. I'd love an excuse to tour your part of the world. Get us a booking, and we'll be there, Mister!

[Birdie]

ha ha hah ha ha ha ha!!! Oh my gosh, Shrexy I MUST record more of these songs!!!!! I totally must. This is making me laugh SO MUCH and I seriously needed a good laugh tonight!!!!!

[GirlPaint]

I'll miss your Avon posts, Birdie. Your experiences and reviews have kept me in stitches. I will keep up with your goings-on at your new website. Best wishes until then. --GirlPaint in SF, NM

[Rick]

You close with panache, Bird.
Good luck.

Diz

[matt]

bye bye birdie!

[Lynn]

I have loved stopping by and reading.
You have made me laugh.
I wish you great success in all that you do.
I'll be watching and rooting for you!

[Pris]

I've loved your posts and storeis. I look forward to the 'second coming of birdie'!