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April 29, 2007

Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Britta Welson from Duluth, Georgia. Britta send in a rather poignant review of the Avon Bust Sculpt. I want to comment on this some time soon - I know I've touched on it before, but I need to keep reminding anyone who reads this blog that the media does NOT have our best interests at heart, nor do beauty product manufacturers for the most part. Here's Britta's review:

"Dear Birdie,

I am a woman who is twenty-eight years old, and as flat as a boy. When I was fifteen I kept waiting for my breasts to sprout like all my friends but they never did. I am so tired of people thinking I'm a boy. When I say flat, I mean flat. I think I'm flatter than most men, LOL. I decided to try the Avon Bust Sculpt to see if it would make a difference.

I have been using Bust Sculpt for six weeks now. I purchased two tubes from my local Avon Rep. I am using it three times a day. I actually carry it to work with me and apply it in the restroom during my lunch break! After six weeks, I can say that it has made my breasts slightly swollen, but I can't say that it's noticable with a shirt. My breasts are a bit tender from the constant application. I don't think I will buy this again, but I will use the rest of what I have purchased. I know I need to get to the point where I can accept my body the way it is, but it is hard."

Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 27, 2007

Stonefridge fell.

My beloved Stonefridge fell last Sunday. The harsh spring winds pushed it over, pushed it into pieces, into the muddy ground. It was the big news in the paper this week, and I plan on scooting out there this Sunday to take photos of the remains before they are hauled to the dump. The city refuses to allow anyone to rebuild. It ends up I was the very last journalist to visit the place before the fall.

I made t-shirts and some other assorted goodies from my Stonefridge photos:

Fun scenes from around my tiny town

Calumet

Surf on over to My Tiny Vegas and see the photographs I've been taking of my town, Las Vegas... New Mexico!


Ah, so THAT was the trouble

I have been having trouble with my mailing list. I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't send my updates! I figured out the trouble, and am preparing to send a new newsletter. Thanks for your patience!

April 26, 2007

Avon Lady Quote of the Day



Today's Avon Lady helpful tip is from Bobbie Roland, an Avon Representative in Oklahoma City. Bobbie has been selling Avon for thirteen years. Bobbie sent in her favorite sales technique:

"Dear Birdie,

As you know, sometimes it's difficult to get a new contact to open that brochure. Often times our Avon brochures will end up in a pile of mail on a coffee table, or stuck in the backseat of a car with a pile of other forgotten materials. Birdie, you have written some wonderful ideas of how to get your customer to open the brochure. Here is my favorite way to get that prospect to stop, look, and open:

Personalize the brochure for your specific prospect. Now, this takes a little research and time. It isn't as easy as labeling multiple brochures and giving them out to any person. But this can pay off in a big way, because it shows you care about your prospect. Find out her name, and what she does for a living. This is easy to do if you are canvassing doctors' offices, for example. Then hand write a note on a pretty piece of stationary and tape it to the front of the brochure:

Dear Dr. Carol,

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bobbie Roland, and I am your local Avon Representative. I would like to provide you with a selection of hand-picked Avon samples. Please peruse this brochure and circle the items you are most interested in, then give me a call."

Birdie, this works every time. What busy professional woman wouldn't want to choose her own samples, and have them delivered to her door?"


Send your Avon Lady tips to Birdie and get featured at Beauty Dish!

50 Ways to Leave Your Number

50 Creative, detailed ways to leave your Avon (or other home-based business) brochures, samples, and business cards with potential customers! You can also download this as a FREE e-book here!


 Hi! My name is Birdie, and I sell Avon…

I sell Avon door-to-door. Many of my customers work during the day, and with two young boys at home, I can't always make my rounds in the evening when folks are at home. Since sales have been slow lately, I decided to get a little crazy with my brochure distribution efforts. Every Avon Representative I know drops her brochures in the same places I do - schools, the senior center, nail salons. I decided I needed to get creative, get colorful, so that my brochures will stand out from the crowd.


Here are 50 inexpensive ways to bring some attention to YOUR Avon – or Mary Kay, or Tupperware business, or ANY sales business this week. I have added many original taglines that you can “steal” and add to your own fliers! Any of these can be adapted to your particular type of sales business.

At the end of this article, I am including a list of over 100 uses for Avon Skin So Soft – America’s Favorite Bath Oil!
 
1. Place Avon brochures, samples, and your Avon business card in the vestibules or community rooms of your local churches, temples, synagogues, mosques, and other places of worship.  Include a flier explaining that you can provide a wonderful Avon fund-raising opportunity. You can add this line to your literature: “Your body is a temple. Show your respect with Avon.”


2. Traveling on vacation or for business? Leave a brochure and samples with your E-rep information and your Avon business card on your hotel nightstand along with your tip for the housekeeping staff. “Avon: Look Great, Make Money: The Best Tip Ever!”


3. Most cities and large towns have a Tourist information center or booth. Drop off a stack of fliers with a list of products a traveler to your town might need. Ideas: Forget sunscreen? Call me for Avon SUN Sport! Traveling? Call me for quality women’s and men’s toiletries!


4. Leave Avon brochures with lipstick samples at the Hostess desk at your local popular restaurants. Attach a sticky note: “Waiting for a table? Freshen up on me!”


5. Bus stops! Train stations! Leave a couple of brochures on the bus or train, too, with the added tagline in big, bold colorful print: “Beauty: Getting there is easy with Avon!”


6. Day care centers are wonderful places to drop some Avon brochures. Sometimes I make a special delivery with colorful helium balloons tied with curly ribbons, an Avon book tied to the end of the ribbon as a weight. Add a cute card with these words: “What about YOU, baby! Moms need care, too!”


7. I found one of my favorite regular customers by dropping off a brochure at the Fire Station! Firefighters use their hands to carry heavy equipment, and often find themselves with rough, scaly skin. This is a great place to demonstrate Moisture Therapy lotion.  You can add this line to your fliers or brochures – and circle the lingerie: “Make your woman even hotter than the fire you put out today! Give her Avon! Call for free consultation!”


8. Does your town have a local newspaper? Reporters, advertising layout designers, paper boys and girls, receptionists – everyone who works on the paper - could be a great customer. Leave your brochures with some samples at the front desk. You can even ask the managing editor if you could pay a small fee and slip a business card or flier into each paper prior to delivery. Don’t forget the “Penny Pincher” types of rags and the alternative weekly. A great tagline to add to your flier? “Erase your “Headlines” with Avon Anew Line and Wrinkle Corrector!”


9.  Slip a brochure or a homemade flier under the windshield wipers of cars parked at places your customers frequent. For Avon Ladies, that might include outside of grocery stores, craft stores, day care centers, elementary schools. If the weather looks cloudy or wet, you may want to enclose your brochure in a ziplock bag, and add a few samples, along with a card that says “While you’re driving, you auto know, that Avon’s gonna make you glow!”


10.  Feed stores, pet stores, boarding kennels, and farm suppliers are a wonderful place to leave a Skin So Soft flier (See the end of this e-Book for over 100 uses of Skin So Soft!) listing all the bath oil’s amazing uses, including as a flea-repellent, a massage oil for your cat, dog, pot-bellied pig, horse, or goat. Your flier can say “Give your pet a new leash on life with Avon Skin So Soft!”


11.  Tape a brochure or flier to the coin-input slot at your local carwash, along with the list of Skin So Soft uses. This miracle bath oil works great on cars, too! “Make your car a real beauty with Avon’s Skin So Soft – removes nearly everything from your car’s finish!”


12.  Stop at all your local libraries and leave your business card or flier inside the front cover of EVERY beauty book and magazine. Don’t forget the cookbooks and romance novels! Any book that a potential customer might open is a great prospect. Leave a brochure and sample or two for the librarian, along with a card that says, “Who wrote the book on beauty? Avon. Every brochure is a New Chapter.”


13.  You can find several locations at the gym to drop sales literature. The locker room is a great place to leave Avon samples – especially skin care products. Add these words to your brochure or flier: “After the workout, it’s time to play. Tone up with Avon!”


14.  Read the event listings in your local paper. Place Avon brochures and samples in a pretty gift basket and drop it off at the start of each event. Works great for knitting groups, book clubs, wedding and baby showers – any event where your potential customers congregate.


15. Stack your brochures on the folding table of the Laundromat.


16.  Hairstylists all have waiting areas where customers sit and read the latest fashion magazines. Why not add your own fashionable Avon brochure to the pile? Don’t forget to stuff a few of your Avon business cards inside! You can stamp them with “Your new look deserves completion. Avon. A thousand choices.”


17.  Senior citizen centers are full of women and men who could use a little pampering and care in their life. Bring lots of free samples and brochures, and ask the receptionist if you can leave a stack at her desk for caregivers. You can add a sticky note to the front of your fliers that says “Avon: Since 1886. Not old. Perfected.”


18. The mall has an endless amount of places where you can leave your sales literature – the food court, dressing rooms, restrooms, the information kiosk.


19.  Hand an Avon brochure to every clerk when you check out.


20.  Leave a brochure for your mail carrier.


21.  The community rooms and pool areas of apartment and condo complexes usually have a table and a bulletin board for residents’ use. Pin up your Avon flier, and place your Avon books and cards on the table. Always cover both bases – flier and brochure – when you can.


22.  Have a college campus in your town? Leave your Avon brochures and samples in the dormitories, communal eating areas, lecture halls, administrative offices.


23.  After you load your groceries in your car, return the grocery cart and leave a brochure in the basket.


24.  Movie Theatres! Leave a business card, Avon brochure, samples on your theatre seat, in the restrooms, next to the video games, hand them to the concession workers.


25.  Bring plenty of samples and a few brochures to any Bed and Breakfast establishment in your area. Tell the proprietors that you can furnish them with samples for their guests if they place regular orders.


26.  Banks! Leave Avon brochures on the table where you fill out your deposit and withdrawal slips.


27.  Courtrooms – many people spend hours waiting during trial – why not give them something to read and something to try?


28.  Massage therapists and other bodywork professionals can become great customers for skin care products. Drop off brochures and samples for products they would use in their practice.


29.  Hospice. I often bring samples and trial-sized products and donate them to the hospice. I never ask for a sale here, but have had grateful family members call me to order more products.


30.  Visit every party planner in your city and drop off brochures with cute gift items, sample-sized fun products like seasonal lip balms, and jewelry items circled.


31.  Don’t laugh, but plumbers, garbage collectors, and electricians make GREAT Avon customers! When you need your home serviced, prepare a special package for your workman or woman. Include a demo tube of Moisture Therapy hand cream, samples of fragrances, and a complimentary lip balm. It’s hard working with your hands all day, and a little pampering feels so good.


32.  Property management companies often have to show rental properties. Bring them the latest Avon brochures where you have highlighted home care items that can help any rental look and smell wonderful.


33.  Make care packages for all the teachers in town. Include the latest catalogues and samples, plus a few sample-sized products. Include a flier that explains that you offer a 10 percent “Educator’s Discount.”


34.  Leave brochures and samples at the Police Station. You would be amazed at the traffic through any Police Station in the course of one simple day – men and woman filing reports, requesting information, bailing out friends and relatives – all potential customers!


35.  Skating rinks and bowling alleys! Leave brochures and samples in the café area as well as the places where parents watch their children.


36.  Every sports season hold Avon opportunity! Attend the local soccer, baseball, basketball, and football games. Parents come out in droves to watch their children play – and you can hand them a brochure and sample.


37.  City pool in the summer, and indoor pools in the winter. Perfect location to leave sunscreen samples.
38.  Dance studios, yoga studios, Pilates studios – all exercise locations.


39.  Airport waiting areas are great places to leave more “reading material” and skin care samples. Leave your youravon.com e-Rep information so that any traveler can order from you from anywhere in the world.


40.  Campgrounds – drop off Avon brochures and samples or demo products of SUN Sport sunscreen and Bug Guard insect-repellent.


41.  Most churches have social events such as potluck dinners, lectures, Bingo, rummage sales, etc. Bring your brochures and samples to these events. You can either ask if there is a place for you to leave them for others to enjoy, or you can mingle with the crowd and hand them out one by one.


42.  Leave recruiting brochures and sales brochures at the local Unemployment office. You can arrive early in the morning when most folks arrive to check the job openings and hand them out in person, too.


43.  Have a fishing hole or lake in your area? Drop by on a sunny Saturday morning and give the fishermen and women Avon brochures and discount coupons for SUN Sport sunscreen and Bug Guard insect-repellent.


44.  Golf Courses – another great place to leave that sunscreen and bug-repellent! Some fancier courses have powder rooms for the ladies. Drop your Avon brochures here.


45.  Hostels – a terrific place to leave those little free Avon samples. Most hostel travelers could use a freshen up, and will be thankful for the free treat. You would be surprised how many of them are working men and women looking for ways to save on travel costs. After leaving samples in the Santa Fe hostel, I received over 10 orders for items folks left at home or lost along the way, such as deodorants, shampoos, and fragrances.


46.  Landscape workers have been some of my most loyal customers. One you demonstrate one of Avon’s amazing hand creams – or leave a handful of free Avon samples – they are hooked! Everyone – men and women – wants to have soft, touchable hands. In addition to landscape workers, visit the landfill (more thirty, calloused hands!), masonry workers, the cemetery (don’t laugh – these guy work hard digging those graves!), and the road crews picking up trash and mowing the city parks. Most of these folks have never had anyone give them this kind of gentle attention. You’ll be amazed at how grateful your new friends will be.


47.  Housecleaning services usually use fairly harsh chemicals and bleaches to clean their clients’ homes. Why not drop by their sales office and drop off a flier describing the many uses of Skin So Soft, along with a small discount coupon?


48.  Visit the Welcome Wagon office in your town. Give them a box of your Avon brochures along with a “Welcome to town, let me be your Avon Rep” letter. Stuff each brochure with at least ten good samples, and include a New Customer discount coupon. These will be distributed to every newcomer to your area!


49. Bring Avon business cards with a free sample taped to the back to Rock concerts. Stamp them with:  “Rock and Roll on some Avon deodorant, baby!”  Opera?  For a night attending Bizet’s “Les Pêcheurs de Perles,” stamp them with “Throw on some Avon Pearlesque jewels!” Country concert? Stamp your cards with “Get your Dolly on with Avon!”


50. Vintner’s and wine tasting events are a great place to subtly hand other attendees one of your Avon business cards. One the back, hand-write “Red or White? Avon has all your colors.”

100 + Uses for Skin So Soft

Personal Uses


SSS is a bath oil and after shower moisturizer.
SSS can be used to remove make-up. Just apply to a cotton ball and rub into your skin.
SSS is a wonderful tanning oil – but be careful you don’t burn yourself.
SSS is a hot oil treatment to soften cuticles.
Pour a little SSS in the water when you soak your feet to help moisturize your feet and relax you.
SSS is a great massage oil for tired muscles.
SSS cleans off tape marks from bandages on skin.
SSS cleans ink from the skin.
SSS is a famous insect repellent!
SSS helps relieve itching caused by insect bites and dry skin. (And has been said to help the sting of wasp bites.)
SSS cleans heavy oil and grease from the skin.
Painting something? Use SSS to remove paint from your hands instead of turpentine.
SSS sooths light sunburn.
Rub hands with SSS before washing. It helps get them cleaner and stay softer.
Rub SSS on dry, cracked, and bleeding skin. It stops bleeding and heals skin in two or three days.
Put 1 or 2 cap-fulls of SSS in liquid soap and use it for shaving legs and underarms. Helps razor glide over and leaves skin feeling smooth.
SSS removes chewing gum from hair and skin.
SSS takes tar right off the skin without irritation.
SSS helps remove tight rings from fingers.


Animal Uses


SSS is a great insect repellent for your pet.
Mix five parts water, one part SSS and mist on show animals. Brushing it in makes their coats gleam and keeps insects off so the animal doesn't fidget in the show ring.
Mix SSS in pet's bath water. Takes the fleas off them and in between baths, spray them with same mixture described above.
Rub SSS on your hands before and after working with your pets and farm animals. It will remove the strong smells.


Household Uses


Sponge SSS around doors, windows, and on screens to keep crawling bugs out.
SSS removes ring around the collar.
SSS removes scuff marks from patent leather shoes.
SSS is a good wood cleaner and conditioner for natural wood.
SSS removes soap scum from shower doors, shower curtains, windows, and bathroom and kitchen fixtures.
SSS removes lime and hard water deposits from fixtures, tile, shower doors, and windows.
SSS is an oil lubricant for fitting pipe joints that won't slip together.
SSS cleans ink from most vinyl and painted surfaces.
SSS cleans heavy oil and grease from non-porous surfaces.
SSS takes gum off clothing and carpets.
Rub SSS on brass ornaments or figurines to help keep them from turning dark.
Removes crayon from appliances and most painted surfaces.
Wash cupboards with SSS mixed in your cleaning water to keep ants off and out of the cupboards.
Use SSS to discourage hornets from building their nests. After using a hornet killing spray, remove the nest and keep the area sprayed with SSS. They will not rebuild in that area.
Use SSS to clean leather - it will keep it soft and supple.
SSS cleans paintbrushes easily, and leaves them soft as new.
SSS cuts grease and cleans dirt from range hoods and cabinets.
A little SSS drizzled down the sides of 2 glasses or glass bowls stuck together will make them easy to pull apart.
SSS removes lime and hard water deposits from windows.


Automobile Uses


SSS removes tar spots from car finishes without damage to the paint.
Use SSS to clean vinyl dashboards seats and tops. It not only cleans, but it softens to prevent cracking.
After washing your car, use SSS as a tire dressing to keep tires looking like new.
Use SSS to wipe down vinyl surfaces in your car. It removes smoke odors left behind by smokers.
SSS will remove oil and grease stains from car carpets.


Camping Uses


Spray SSS on the outside of the tent, especially near the door & windows and it keeps mosquitoes away!

Beauty Dish: True Underground Adventures of an Avon Lady:
web: http://beautydish.typepad.com

 ©2007, Birdie Jaworski

April 25, 2007

Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Theresa G. from Springfield, Mass. Theresa send in a review of the Avon ANEW CLINICAL Plump & Smooth Lip System. Here's Theresa's review:

"I bought the Plump and Smooth Lip System a month ago. I am in my late thirties, but my lips have been shrinking the older I get. I thought I would give this a try. It comes in a pen-shaped container. Each end of the pen has a formula that you apply to your lips. I followed the directions and applied both parts twice a day. Within just a few days I could see a difference. The difference isn't huge, but it is enough to keep me buying this product. I have fuller lips now and the color of my lips is more youthful. The product does tingle a bit, which bothered me at first."

Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 24, 2007

Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Sammy S. from James Island, South Carolina. Sammy's aunt sells Avon, and gave Sammy her demo tub of the new Avon ANEW RETROACTIVE+ Youth Extending Cream. Here's Sammy's review:


"My aunt has sold Avon for thirty-five years, and is one of the top sellers in her district. She bought several demos of the Avon ANEW RETROACTIVE+ Youth Extending Cream and gave one to me to try. At fifty-three years old, I am very conscious of my skin's needs. I have developed some larger pores and fine lines around my mouth and eyes. I gave up smoking ten years ago, but I still have those smoker's lines. The cream my aunt gave me was the Day cream, but I understand there is also a Night cream, too. I have not tried that yet.

I started using the Youth Extending Cream one month ago. I applied it every morning after cleansing and toning my face. My skin is prone to be oily, so I didn't add any other moisturizer. Since the cream is SPF 25, I didn't need to add a sunscreen, as well. It smells nice, almost a light floral scent. I spread it on my face and neck, avoiding the eye area like instructed. It smooths into my very easily. I could tell a difference right away. Within a week my pores had shrunk. Now I have been using the cream a month and my fine lines are smaller, too. I like this cream. It is not too heavy like some others and it does work."


Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 23, 2007

A Mom Called Paladin

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Please read my Nature and Nurture column, titled A Mom Called Paladin. Thank you.


Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Minnie Parker of Duluth, Georgia. She sent in a review of the brand new Celine Dion "Spring in Paris" fragrance. Avon has been heavily promoting Celine's new scent in print, television, and online advertising. You can read a Q a A with Celine, where she explains how she put together "Spring in Paris." The fragrance features notes of musk, vanilla, clementine, and black current among others. Here's Minnie's review:


"Dear Birdie,

I have been an Avon customer for many years. I have been using Avon's Imari as my signature scent ever since it came out. That's nearly twenty years now I think. I have been wanting to find a lighter fragrance for spring and summer, as Imari is more of a winter scent, but I haven't been satisfied with any of Avon's other fragrances. I don't like scents that are overpowering or have too many sweet notes in them.

I decided to try Celine's new fragrance, "Spring in Paris." To tell the truth, I am not much of a Celine Dion fan. She has a beautiful voice, but her music grates on my nerves. This fragrance looked interesting, so I ordered it. Birdie, you can't beat the price of Avon fragrances. I would put my Imari up against any expensive perfume out there in terms of quality. And it costs so much less.

Spring in Paris has a light fragrance. It meshed nicely with my body chemistry. The scent is complex, too, which I like. It doesn't smell cheap or edgy. It just has a gentle sophisticated scent. I didn't find it overpowering at all, and in fact received several nice compliments from the women in my Bridge Club. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a light, sophisticated scent."


Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Denise Paddington from Raleigh, North Carolina. She sent in a review of the Avon Ultra Color Rich Lipstick.

"Dear Birdie,

I buy Avon online through avon.com. I am so glad you posted those Avon online coupon codes a while back, they inspired me to start trying Avon. I recently saw the commercials for the Avon Ultra Color Rich Lipstick and decided to try it. I bought one tube in "Cherries Jubilee" which is a nice, dark red color. I have olive skin and the darker tones look so much better on me.

The lipstick glides on my lips easily. It feels really great. Much better than other lipsticks I have been using include expensive ones from Lancome and Estee Lauder. You can't tell it's less expensive than those big brands. It looks and feel extremely luxurious. I think it's the best lipstick I've ever used. My only gripe is that I do have to reapply slightly more often than I would like, but the benefits outweigh this small issue."

Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

Avon Lady Quote of the Day




Today's Avon Lady Sales Tip is from Jessica, who lives and works near Washington, DC. Jessica counts U.S. Senators and Representatives among her customers! Here is Jessica's tip:

"Dear Birdie,

Around here, many business people use their vehicle license plates like a business card. I think more people have vanity plates than the regular state-issued plates! I decided to get my own "Avon" license plate, so I just registered "AvonLdy" for my brand-new Lexus - which, I'll have you know, I am purchasing strictly from my Avon profits. I think most states allow you to have seven letters or numbers on a vanity plate. How about registering AvonLdy in your state? Or AvonGrl, Avon4U, MyAvon, I can think of many others."


Send your Avon Lady tips to Birdie and get featured at Beauty Dish!

Avon Lady Quote of the Day



Today's Avon Lady Tip is from Vicky D. of Martinsville, Indiana. Vicky sells Avon part-time to help pay for her children's sports and music programs. Here is Vicky's tip:

"When Avon discontinues an item or reformulates it, sometimes I am left with half a dozen tubes or so of the older version. It can be difficult to sell these. I have to deal with the hassle of returning items, so I came up with a great solution. I donate any of these older products to my church's rummage sale. I make sure to put a big sticker with my contact info on the side of the items that says "Donated by Your Avon Lady, Vicky." If someone is buying Avon at a rummage sale, they probably use and enjoy Avon products on a regular basis. It's a great way to make some new customers and help your church or other organization out at the same time."


Send your Avon Lady tips to Birdie and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 20, 2007

Friday Odds 'n Ends

I'm a bit behind in posting the Avon Representative Tips and Avon Customer Reviews, so look for quite a few to be posted over the weekend as my time allows.

My son won an Outward Bound adventure in an essay competition!

Next weekend I'm manning the whole foods snow cone machine at the Las Vegas New Mexico Synergy Fest! My boys' school is selling snow cones for a dollar, and they will come with real fruits and juices, yum yum.

April 17, 2007

I posted a philosophical discussion at La Pajaro

I would love your opinion on boys and their toys, their natural (in my opinion) gravity toward weapons, toward chaos. Who are we? Please surf over and post your thoughts. I held back an essay I wrote once the Virigina massacre occured. I didn't have the heart to post something that seemed so easy to write a few days before that gunman unhinged.

Here's the discussion thread. Thanks.

My beautiful town

Hermitpeak

I made a Squidoo lens on my favorite place in the whole, wide world - my crazy New Mexican town. I put it together for those folks looking for information on Las Vegas.

Avon Lady Quote of the Day




Today's Avon Lady Tip is from Pam V. of Vancouver. Pam has been selling Avon for five years - first in Seattle, and now as a Canadian Rep after her marriage and subsequent move. Here is Pam's tip:

"Dear Birdie,

This isn't a new tip, it's an old tip that came from you! It has worked so well for me that I had to tell you how much your idea increased my business.

I started making a CD each campaign of the best deals in the brochures, plus a few customer testimonials for both me as an Avon Rep and for some of the new products. My customers love listening to the CD. Some of them slip it into their car deck on their commute to work. It has increased my sales by at least 30 percent, Birdie. Thank you."


Send your Avon Lady tips to Birdie and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 16, 2007

About Friday night...

Elgringo


All I'm gonna say is:

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...

April 15, 2007

Photoshopped celebrities

iwanexstudio retouches photographs for use in print and online media. Check out their portfolio of celebrities. If you click on the Portfolio link at the top of their site, then choose a celebrity from the thumbnail shots. When the photo loads, if you scroll your curser over the photograph, it will show you what the picture looked like BEFORE the retouching!

Ladies (and gentlemen), celebrities look just like us - zits, wrinkles, undereye bags, lumps and all. Amen.

April 14, 2007

I archive my stories at OurStory

I archive my stories at a wonderful free networking site called OurStory. You can use OurStory to compile a timeline of your adventures, memories, dreams, goals and unforgettable events. In a way it's like compiling a scrapbook - you can add photographs, captions - even set up separate profiles for family members. Some OurStory users set up profiles to help catalogue their grandparent's stories, the lost stories of their great aunts and uncles who passed down tales of coming to America with only the clothes on their back.

If you like, you can connect to other OurStory writers and share your experiences, or you can keep them to yourself by labeling them as private, and sharing them only with selected friends and family. You can even export your stories and photographs - easily - into a book! The service even gives you lists of helpful questions that can generate memories, stories for you to write. You can export your timeline into a cool slide show like the one below, and post it to your blog, MySpace, or website, too.

I've made real-life friends at OurStory, and have found it be a completely unique service, unlike any other writer's site. I hope you enjoy clicking through my timeline of personal stories, below. I also have a profile of my Avon Adventures. I still have stories to upload to OurStory, and some years to remember, so many more stories to write!

I plan on setting up profiles for my deceased grandparents, and asking my sisters and other family members to help me fill in the missing pieces.


Start your own timeline at OurStory.com

April 13, 2007

I have a free evening, oooo la la!

My boys are sleeping over a friend's home tonight! I have 24 blessed hours of absolute freedom, not counting the hour I'm on KFUN tomorrow morning.

Tonight I think I'll go to the Bull Rush - a fairly rowdy bar and dance club - where local music artist El Gringo will be entertaining with his mariachi rock and roll. I'll slip some Avon samples in my purse, but honestly, I'm tired of working. I may forget to hand out those little fragrance samples and simply dance, dance, dance! Okay, who am I kidding? Of course I'll hand out those samples, and hopefully find a little... trouble... too.

Want to make something simple and sweet tonight? I posted a little recipe for Dulce de Leche this morning, enjoy! That article is posted at my Gather site! If you like writing, reading, photograph, or wonderful conversation, you may enjoy joining Gather, too. I'm completely impressed with the quality of articles at Gather, and the well-known writers and personalities that interact with all of the members.

April 12, 2007

A Grumpy Pregnant Woman Meets Kilgore Trout

I have alluded to this particular chance meeting a few times during my three years blogging, told bits and pieces of the story. Here it is in its entirety. When I lived in So Cal I managed, like all other beach bums, to see Hollywood stars in their native habitat. I never found much inspiration in those encounters, a few laughs or moments of introspection, but nothing that gave me great pause. One day, thirteen years ago on the Indiana backroads, I met one of the great writers of this generation, in fact the only great writer I ever met, and it spurred years of wonder and dreams. I'm going to miss him.

I pulled off the road on one side of a valley forged between two rolling hills. The year was 1993. A creek wound through vale center, directly below an old Indiana train trestle, the town's namesake. Tulip Trestle was the oldest, longest, tallest original wooden railway passage in the country. It rose hundreds of feet above the ground with a full half-mile span, a relic of the 20's when the trains would carry Al Capone and his gangsters along with sickly wealthy women to the hot mineral water spas at Baden Springs. Today the track is worn through in some places, but still structurally sound. Cargo trains clamor over the trestle several times a day, shaking the valley, shooting sharp slivers of creosote-soaked wood to the ground, far below. My husband at the time dared me to cross.

"Let's climb to the top."

He pointed to the point where the trestle met the granite outcropping at the top of the hill. Grabbing points of granite, slipping my sandaled feet into crevices, I pulled myself to the train tracks. Scores of teenagers had been here before us, graffiti marred the tracks and the rock, broken beer and whisky bottles littered the ground. Sitting at the edge of the rock, I raised my hand over my eyes and surveyed the area, marveling that this decaying vestige could hold tons of moving slag and coal. My arms were sore from pulling myself up, my left big toe was bleeding, and I had scratches on my legs from the rough climb. I stood up to scope out an easier trail down the hill.

He pointed to the other side of the valley, where the track faded into a speck on another hill.

"I'm glad you're not afraid of heights, Birdie! Let's walk across the trestle."

Damn. Caught in a lie, I had to act fearless. There were no side rails to hold on to, to keep me from falling. Each crossrail connected to the I-beams at least two feet from the next, nothing separating certain death from my feet but the sky. Taking several deep breaths, I stared straight ahead at the other end, and slid one foot in front of the other. I managed to get twenty feet when my stomach spun and fell through my feet. My progress was arrested by my terror; I wanted to grab something, anything; the wind whipped around me, threatening my precarious position.

My husband calmly continued to stride in front of me, he didn't recognize my abject fear. I eased forward, feeling the wood sway and rock beneath me. Halfway across the trestle, I made the mistake of looking down, in the space between the tracks cradling my feet. Vertigo weakened my knees, my arms trembled, and panic ripped through my chest when it occurred to me that a train might be approaching. The stream below was a thin thread, the cows just spots on a green carpet. I stared at the largest cow in the field, and in my mind I said, "Moo." She turned her head to look at me and gave a moo, a plaintive cry, mimicking the drawn out bleat in my head.

I became a fixture in my Salvador Dali vision, a breathing part of the trestle, sharing the same space as ghost trains from eras past, sharing the wind with the waving grains and the granite. I saw the women from my belly dance class skip across the trestle in the place between my eyes, caressing the structure with their feet, their hands, turning cartwheels, leaping from I-beam to I-beam, the trestle holding their weight, moving to catch them, anticipating their motions. For a moment, I became one of them, giving up the decision to understand why they could do this, instead feeling it, living it, melting with the trestle, until we both were a creosote and bird-pitch covered, sandal-wearing entity, reaching from the ground to the sky, running along the ground till we tickled the soft bristly flesh of the cows and ran our limbs through the cool stream. I ran across the remainder of the trestle; I knew I could not fall - I was the trestle.

Two years later I pulled over once more. My belly barely fit behind the wheel. I left my husband at home that evening, needed time, needed space, needed the memory of fractal cows to seep into my skin. I rolled down my window and cool Fall air met my face. Another car parked near me, but I didn't think to look at the driver, only watched his steady stream of cigarette smoke snake out his window, rise high above the molting trees.

My baby kicked. I pressed one hand into my abdomen to give him a caress, let the other wipe a cascade of tired tears from my cheeks. The other driver opened his door, stepped into twilight, hand still holding smoldering tobacco. He turned. I froze. I knew this man, this writer from Indiana. I knew who he was. He approached my car.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you have the time?"

I stuttered. I was mute. I pointed to my watchless wrist. The clunker I drove didn't have a clock, and this was a good seven years before I would own a cell phone.

"When's your baby due?"

He inhaled sweet smoke, turned his head to blow it deep into the valley. I managed a reply.

"January. Feels like I've been pregnant forever, though."

"This is a good place to take a baby, I think."

He smiled. He leaned against my car and watched the last of the sun fade into the auburn woods. I wanted to say something smart, something important. I wanted him to know I loved his words, that I was a simple woman, an uneducated woman, but I knew his words, that they meant something important to me, but my mouth sprouted the only things I could think, could remember.

"The last time I was here, I walked the trestle with my husband. He didn't know I was afraid. But the cows below - I became one of them. I could feel them breathe. I was the trestle."

I stopped, realizing how stupid I sounded, how bizarre. The man lifted his free hand and ran it through unruly hair. He laughed.

"Fuck. Wish I had the balls to walk the trestle. I would like to be a cow for one night."

I sat in the twilight. He stood. We didn't speak. He slipped a tiny notebook from his shirt pocket, a pen, wrote something small. He ripped the page and handed it to me. The signature was barely legible, the first and last name run together in angular symphony. I still own it, keep it deep in my jewelry box, pull it out when I need to remember what it means to belong this this earth.

Thank you for being a cow. Kurt Vonnegut

April 11, 2007

Mothership Down - Final Installment

You can read the final installment of my ovarian cyst saga here! I'm so glad I'm feeling better!

Birdie on KFUN

I was invited to be the guest on local radio station KFUN this Saturday, from 9 am to 10 am MST! You can listen online! I have no clue what the topic of conversation will be - Avon? Local tidbits? Tune in and find out!

Bullies offline and online - an ongoing discussion at BlogHer.org

Cyber bullies have been making the news lately. The amazing women at BlogHer.org have begun a series of discussions on civility and decency in blogging and on the internet. I've added my own little story of the time I could have stepped up against bullies... and did not to the ongoing series of articles. Please read and join the discussion!

Oil vs. Oil SMACKDOWN!

SmackdownSubtitle: You can't buy my opinion, you can't buy my words, but dang, if I think it would be a fun review, you can send me your junk and I'll run it - fairly, and brutally honestly - through the Jaworski Test Bathroom....

Lauren Kennedy of Ogilvy Public Relations sent out an email to a group of beauty bloggers. I get quite a few of these requests from a variety of PR offices and cosmetic companies. Hey, they say, hey! Write about our fabulous stuff! Win a prize! Tell your readers to check us out!

Most of the time I delete these requests. I mostly write about Avon products, and people visit Beauty Dish expecting to read the true Avon dirt. Once in a while something strikes me as a fun diversion, such as when Kraft sent me a dry-ice ensconced hunk of Parmesan.

Lauren's letter was an announcement about Johnson's beauty products, some of which have a new look. Lauren's gentle email wasn't over-the-top-salesy, and she gave a few suggestions for using the old Johnson's standbys (Baby Powder, Baby Shampoo) in ways that might help you get hair like.... Angelina Jolie! Well, who doesn't want to look like the sexiest woman on the planet, eh? Lauren also mentioned that she uses the products herself.

Set me up!

I replied to Lauren's email and yesterday received a (free) FedEx box stuffed with Johnson's finest. It should be noted that I am not getting paid for my upcoming brutally honest review. It should also be noted that, in three years of bloggin' about my life and work as an Avon Lady, I have never once received anything free from Avon whatsoever. Sigh.

This week my boys and I will hold the Great 2007 Oil Versus Oil SMACKDOWN! On the left, Avon's Skin So Soft! On the right, Johnson's Baby Oil! We will use both oils in a variety of ways and report on the results!

I'll also try the Angelina Jolie beauty tricks, with before and after photos, of course!

Wish us luck. May the best oil win!

Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Kat Klein of Spokane Washington. She sent in a review of my beloved Avon True Porefection Cleanser. Just like me, Kat LOVES this product:


"Dear Birdie,
I’ve been using Avon for longer than I care to remember.  I’ve actually retired 2 Avon ladies.  My last Avon lady set up her customers with a replacement, but I could never get a hold of her when I needed to – Which was anytime I started getting low on my True Porefection Cleanser.  This is the best product!  I use it twice a day, and it keeps the acne away.  It’s about the best product I’ve found for adult acne, and I love it!  In fact, I love it so much that last November, after running out for the third time since my lady retired, I started selling Avon, just to have a ready supply of it at a good price.  So far that’s working out almost as well as the cleanser itself.  To quote one of your earlier blogs… Avon Rocks!"


Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

Avon Lady Quote of the Day



Today's Avon Lady Tip is from Elle "Duckie" Dupre, an Avon Representative in Toronto. Elle is just beginning her Avon business again after taking three years off to have a set of triplets! Here's Elle's tip:

"Dear Birdie,

I have triplets, two boys and one girl. It can be very crazy around my house, and I need to keep all of my Avon extremely organized otherwise I would never keep up with it.

Some customers call me with their order, and some of them send me emails. Often times a customer will forget to say which brochure she is ordering from. Sometimes she might forget her product number or the color of the makeup. I used to give customers the order form that Avon sends us for our customers but it is so small and the print is too tiny for some of my older customers. To help keep me organized I made a simple LARGER PRINT easy-to-follow order form for my customers. It has a clearly-marked space where customers fill in which brochure they are reading so I can match up product prices, and each line instructs the customer to fill in product number, color, size, and quantity. So much easier! I rarely have product mixups now."


Send your Avon Lady tips to Birdie and get featured at Beauty Dish!

Mailling list techno glitch

I sent out the Secret Bird Call, but some folks have reported it did not arrive. (And some sent in lovely comments laughing over the funny story in it!) I think it kicked out half-way through the send, so I am queing it up to resend. My apologies if you receive this twice!

If you do not receive by tomorrow (Thursday) morning, please drop me a note.

Cheers!

April 09, 2007

Daily Avon Customer Review

Today's Avon Customer Review is from Gloria R., who purchases Avon online. She sent in a review of the brand new Jillian Dempsey Sheer Glow All Over Face Powder and the Jillian Dempsey Face Brush. This whole line is brand-new and extremely hot, and I will be posting a formal review of it soon. Here's Gloria's letter:


"Dear Birdie,

I just received the Jillian Dempsey Sheer Glow All Over Face Powder a couple of days ago. I read about Jillian Dempsey in Vanity Fair and had to try out her powder. She's a celebrity makeup artist. I also got her face brush.

I like the powder a lot. It looks very pretty. It comes in a compact with a clear lid. The powder has four colors that are in a flower pattern. It looks really nice and now my best girlfriends wants to get one too. The brush is also very nice and pretty. I like the way the powder looks on my face. It gives me a healthy glow, just like the name says. I don't break out with it which is nice. I think you can use this for day and night. The colors really are pretty and go nice with my skin."


Are you an Avon Customer with an opinion? Send me your mini review and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 08, 2007

Avon Lady Quote of the Day



Today's Avon Lady helpful tip is from Jill Williams, an Avon Representative in Los Angeles. Jill has been selling Avon for six years. Jill sent in her favorite sales technique:

"Dear Birdie,

I don't ever visit a customer unless I bring a snack to share with me. Even if I'm just dropping off an order or a brochure, I bring a little bag with homemade biscotti. It's a small gesture, but it really makes my customers see me as a real person. I bake biscotti once a week and wrap them in that nice colored plastic wrap, and tie it at the top with a pretty color-coordinated ribbon. A few biscottis can make a customer's day. Some of my customers are addicted to the goodies, and I even think they order sometimes just to get one of my double chocolate biscottis! Here is my recipe. I would like to share this with all of my fellow Avon Representatives because these biscotti taste so good and they really keep those customers wanting more Avon.


Double Chocolate Biscotti

Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup ground cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 cup walnuts, chopped
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 tablespoon confectioners' sugar

Preheat oven to 350°F. and butter and flour a large baking sheet.

In a bowl whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl with an electric mixer beat together butter and granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and beat until combined well. Stir in flour mixture to form a stiff dough. Stir in walnuts and chocolate chips.

On prepared baking sheet with floured hands form dough into two slightly flattened logs, each 12 inches long and 2 inches wide, and sprinkle with confectioners' sugar. Bake logs 35 minutes, or until slightly firm to the touch. Cool biscotti on baking sheet 5 minutes.

On a cutting board cut biscotti diagonally into 3/4-inch slices. Arrange biscotti, cut sides down, on baking sheet and bake until crisp, about 10 minutes. Cool biscotti on a rack. Serve to your Avon customers. "


Send your Avon Lady tips to Birdie and get featured at Beauty Dish!

April 07, 2007

Thanks for the Shout Out, Avon HQ!

From the most recent issue of Avon's e-News:

REPRESENTATIVE, AND MOTHER OF TREKKIES. Las Vegas, New Mexico's Birdie Jaworski talks about her business in the April issue of Positive Thinking, and writes about her sons' relationship with "Star Trek" in the May issue of Good Housekeeping.

Newsletter going out Monday night - with a secret story!

Want to know what happened when I had to tell an Avon customer's husband he.... smelled?! Sign up for my free newsletter on the right sidebar and find out Monday night! This story will NOT be published to the blog... in order to save my sorry butt! It's THAT good (and funny!)!

Happy Easter and Passover, everyone! Much love to all!

April 06, 2007

Cleanse Your Sole

Birdie's Review of the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches and musings on other Avon products offered under the guise of "Wellness"

DetoxfeetI thought the brand-new Avon Tiara Boom-De-AyTM was strange, but it's got nothin' on the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches!

Avon divides its brochures and website into easy-to-figure-out categories. Skincare. Haircare. Fragrances. Bath and Body. Men's Products. Makeup. Fashion and Gifts. Outdoor Protection. The section that - to me - is the most exotic and elusive is Avon "Wellness." Need a compact mirror pill case? Find it in Avon Wellness. Need a light-up tray for your eyeglasses? Avon Wellness. Need a pair of "moisture control" pants? Avon Well... well, you get the picture. All the stuff you have no idea you need, heck, you have no idea even exists - Avon Wellness can set you up!

There is a curious lack of literature on the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches. A pair of crossed feet - each with a blinding white detox patch slapped across the arch - waves hello from the pages of the Avon brochure. "Detoxify while you sleep." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I ordered them anyway, figuring I cou