Cleanse Your Sole

Birdie's Review of the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches and musings on other Avon products offered under the guise of "Wellness"

I thought the brand-new Avon Tiara Boom-De-Ay^TM was strange, but it's got nothin' on the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches!

Avon divides its brochures and website into easy-to-figure-out categories. Skincare. Haircare. Fragrances. Bath and Body. Men's Products. Makeup. Fashion and Gifts. Outdoor Protection. The section that - to me - is the most exotic and elusive is Avon "Wellness." Need a compact mirror pill case? Find it in Avon Wellness. Need a light-up tray for your eyeglasses? Avon Wellness. Need a pair of "moisture control" pants? Avon Well... well, you get the picture. All the stuff you have no idea you need, heck, you have no idea even exists - Avon Wellness can set you up!

There is a curious lack of literature on the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches. A pair of crossed feet - each with a blinding white detox patch slapped across the arch - waves hello from the pages of the Avon brochure. "Detoxify while you sleep." I wasn't sure what that meant, but I ordered them anyway, figuring I could use them some dateless Saturday night (okay, all my Saturdays are dateless...) after my boys hunker down with a good book in bed.

I thought about ordering the Avon Pocket Dentist, too, an electric blue Swiss army knife-looking utensil with retractible picks and blades. The ad copy states that the "compact dental kit comes with 6 different tools that clean and help protect teeth when you're out and about." I could scrape plaque from my teeth while I detox! Alas, money is tight and a used demonstration dental pick is probably the last item I would ever sell, so I passed. I also passed on the Avon "Moisture Control Pants," even though I work up a good sweat on those weekly rounds.

Yes, this is the Avon Pocket Dentist... no April Fools!

The day the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches arrived both my boys were home from school for the third day with the hacking, green-runny-snotty, fever flu. I considered slapping the detox patches on their sweaty feet. I hovered near the couch, both boys huddled in three woven wool blankets each, their eyes crusted shut with virus boogers. I felt my youngest son's forehead. His arms rustled. He felt slightly cooler, perhaps 101 degrees instead of 103. The family pot-bellied pig grunted, his legs extended as if in rigor mortis, ample back against the heating vent.

My tummy gurgled, and I realized the prior twenty-four hours of nursemaid duty had taken a toll in the form of overindulgence. Sigh. An entire box of Cheese Nips, a pint of beer, a package of "oriental flavor" ramen noodles, all things salty, crisp and oh-so-alcoholic. I scooted next to the boys, grabbed an end of the blankets and covered my lap. I slipped off my fuzzy pink slippers (Avon) and peeled the backing off two of the detox patches. They looked like big tightly woven cotton bandages, the large rectangular kind school boys wear on their shins and elbows during soccer season.

The brochure told me the thick pad in the center contained exotic detoxifiers such as wood vinegar and green tea, and that these foot pads would extract body toxins, by stimulating acupressure points on the soles of the feet. A closer inspection of the ingredients list revealed the addition of tourmaline and camellia sinensis leaf extract. I slapped 'em on and closed my eyes, expecting to feel like a veritable forest of purity and gemstone light.

The instructions say to leave the patches on overnight, but no fewer than eight times my boys woke me for water, for juice, for popsicles. By morning the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches were soiled, wrinkled, and ragged. Ugh. I peeled them off and inspected them for leached toxins. I couldn't see any. I carried them between thumb and finger as if they were diseased, and dumped them in the trash. My feet felt funny - almost numb - from the experience.

The dead of viral night when one is gopher, nursemaid, and exhausted, full of Cheese treats and booze is probably not the best time to test the curative powers of the Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches, but to tell the Goddess Honest Truth, I actually felt a wee bit energized and slightly less bloated in the morning! The only thing that didn't feel so wonderful was... my teeth, which were gummy and coated with a thick film of saliva. Shoulda ordered the Avon Pocket Dentist...

Comments

[betty]

My chiropractor ordered a package! I'm hoping he plans to recommend them to his patients. He goes through the brochure and circles products that his patients might like and then gives them the page when they come in. Quite a nice little helper!

Betty

[Birdie]

Betty - I do like these! I had a little fun with the review since my boys were so darn sick that week and I tried them "on the fly," but they really ARE nice!

Hey, do you carry around the Pocket Dentist? I am so curious about it, but can't imagine whipping it out after dinner at the local cafe! :)

[Mike]

Love the title!

I want a pocket dentist~!!!

[betty]

Birdie, I don't have a pocket dentist, but I have sold several. I thought about getting one for my husband but I don't want to see him in a restaurant digging at his teeth with a blue "Swiss Army Knife". And he would do exactly that!

Betty

[Wandering Willow]

I made the mistake of clicking on the article about Tiara Boom-De-Ay and totally fell for it, until the very end!! When I realized it was an April Fools story, I laughed so hard I wished I had a pair of Moisture Control pants. Avon brand, of course.

[Birdie]

Betty I think MOST men would pick their teeth if they had one of these babies! LOL!! See Mike's comment for verification!! I think I'll go ahead and order one and see what the cowboys across the street think. At the very least it would make a great story. Hmmmm and I need to get one of these to Mike.

Bonnie, I had more fun writing Tiara than anything else I've written in a while! My boys helped, too, we were all laughing and completely losing it!

[Kay Cook]

Hi
I have seen detox patches before but not like this. I'm thinking of giving this a try. I am a nurse who suffered from candida caused by my mercury fillings. I understand toxins.

[Molly]

Kay Did you have any luck with the patches? I want to try them tonight. I have have been dealing with the candida for weeks...

[Jenny Azevedo]

The Avon detox patches work really great. Doesn't matter how many times you have to get out of bed and cater to the kiddo's. If you leave them on for at least 8 hours, You will see something on them. I ordered these last week and the first time I used it, as I peeled it off, green slime peeled off with them, and I wiped off my feet with toilet paper and I took a look at the patches and even took a curious sniff, and they smelt rank like BBQ sauce.. which is normally yummy, but not if you know it comes from Toxins out of your feet!! I use them everywhere on my body like my upper arms and lower back but the feet work the ultimate best! And these patches work on everyone.. there is no way that anyone is toxin free unless you live in a sterile bubble.

That pocket dentist scares me..........

[Noelle Lucas]

I didn't see anywhere on the avon site of how many come in an order or how often to use? Do you get more than two?

[B]

I do believe we have been had on these detox pads. If you smell of them before you put them on they are horrible, the same as after you take them off. Also, the stuff that is on the inside is black/green and I do believe the moisture from your foot just brings the color thru the patch. And last but not least I can't find any info about how the Avon pads work. The package contains 6 detox pads and the front simply says "contains ingredients known for their detoxifying properties" not that the product works, it's just known for it's detoxifying properties. I need/I want more info. I don't think that Avon thinks that they work but due to the interest people have in the Kinoki Pads(maybe I spelled it right)they will provide them to us. And with the other brand you have enough of the pads to see all of the toxins leached from your body (supposedly) because eventually the pads will be clear. If this is true I am no where near being clean of toxins, all three nights my pads were nasty, no signs of getting rid of my bad things and I am out of pads. Maybe if I buy more and more of the Avon pads they would eventually become clean, I don't know because there isn't enough information from Avon about this product.

[Dave]

I've heard good things about this so i've ordered a package too.

-Dave
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[detox foot patches]

Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches - I never heard of these...I might order them...they sound good.

[foot detox patch]

"Detoxify while you sleep."

Well, who can resist this very inviting statement. The thought of flushing all unnecessary toxic wastes out of your body without any hardwork at all seems to be such a treat. Imagine pampering yourself and freeing your body from dangerous toxins, that's indeed very interesting. Isn't it?

[Wendie]

My Husband and I used the detox pads. You use them for 30 nights and the color does get lighter and you do feel better...there awesome.
I kid you not...his foot has been swollen for 10 years from ant bites. He was sent to specialist ..even to MUSC in Charleston but to no avail. These silly pads have almost taken all the swelling out of his foot. He is living proof that something is working.

[mary bee]

People who use these patches often experience improved sleep, improved metabolism and overall better health. As with any good body detox cleanser, detox foot patches strengthen immune function and assist the body to heal.

[michael taylor]

Thanks for the information. This is a very informative post.

http://hubpages.com/hub/kinoki_detox_foot_pads

[Krystal]

Hi All! I thought I saw these in a book and now I can't find which camp I saw them in. I only have 9-11 in my house so it had to be one of those. I rodered some as I saw a commercial for some and I know Avon sells them and since i get a discount thought it was worth a try. I need to detox and I am sick of the "natural" poills I take that make me feel sick and bloated. I know TMI. lol

[Dinah]

Hi...I also purchased these Detox patches and I'm on my 3rd one. Not feeling any different, but I might give it a try for 30 days to see a difference. Krystal if you go online to your Avon rep website, the product code is 363-471. It's also found in Campaign 10 pg 132 if that helps:) I think as long as you have the product code, you can order it in the next campaign.

[Dinah]

Hi...I also purchased these Detox patches and I'm on my 3rd one. Not feeling any different, but I might give it a try for 30 days to see a difference. Krystal if you go online to your Avon rep website, the product code is 363-471. It's also found in Campaign 10 pg 132 if that helps:) I think as long as you have the product code, you can order it in the next campaign.

[Dinah]

Hi...I also purchased these Detox patches and I'm on my 3rd one. Not feeling any different, but I might give it a try for 30 days to see a difference. Krystal if you go online to your Avon rep website, the product code is 363-471. It's also found in Campaign 10 pg 132 if that helps:) I think as long as you have the product code, you can order it in the next campaign.